My life

Well, this weeks topics are like pulling a page out of my current life story.  I am the mother/wife in a dual earning family, I am approaching middle adulthood and dealing my with feelings on that fun idea, I am always juggling the roles between mom, wife, nurse, student and I am suffering from a case of reality shock to boot!

Up until a few months ago, my husband had been a stay at home dad for the last several years.  It was great as far as childcare and me not having to worry about our daughter being cared for by a stranger but there was still conflict in the home.  While I was employed and usually a student as well, I found myself becoming very resentful towards my husband because A) he got to stay home with our daughter and B) I still was doing the bulk of the housework and family chores.  It became a constant source of conflict between us.  In his family, his mother had always been a stay at home mom and that is what mom's do, clean the house, take care of the groceries, the pets, etc... So why shouldn't his wife be the same?  But he also lives in the era of equal rights for both genders, so of course I should also have to work!  I am capable, so why shouldn't I have a job?  Back and forth, back and forth.  I think it is great that we were able to have one parent stay home with our daughter, we have been very fortunate that we were able to have that arrangement but the resentment of things not being "equal" was getting almost too much for me to bear.  It finally came to the point that I had to draw a line in the sand.  Either you get a job, we hire someone to help me around the house, or  you step up your game at home.  You choose or I am going to choose for us.

Well, my husband went back to work.  I feel more satisfied as far as shared burdens, I still do the housework but hey, we are moving in the right direction!  But now we face the challenges of a dual earning household.  Finding child care is harder than you think!  I worry about pawning our daughter off, I worry about being stuck late at work and not getting to school on time to pick her up, we now have a whole new set of exciting challenges!  I am sure I sound like I am whining but I think basically life is just a big old balancing act.  Just do the best you can, there is always going to be stress and challenges and that is just the bottom line.  In the end, we have decided to switch roles for awhile and in the next month or so I will be taking some time off of work just to relax and focus on time with our daughter and being a stay at home mom (wish me luck!) I think it is valuable to see how the other half lives and I think this change will benefit us overall.  And I will have more time to focus on my up coming mid life crisis, hello botox!