Well, we made it. And what an fitting end to the quarter, death and dying. The end. I have a lot of mixed emotions about this chapter and it brought up a lot of feelings that I am not comfortable with, but one thing I am comfortable with and the thing I want to focus my final blog on is Euthanasia. Especially active euthanasia. As usual, this is strictly my own personal opinion and I highly value each persons right to choose what they believe is right for them. But, I really feel strongly that we should be allowed to make that choice. If I had a terminal illness and was in unbearable pain, would I choose euthanasia for myself? I don't know. And I hope I never have to find out, but I want to be able to make that choice for myself if need be. I want to have that option and I believe that every human on earth should also be able to have that option available to them. Now, I am not saying that I believe that euthanasia is something to be taken lightly or that is should be readily available to every patient that is feeling down on a certain day but I think it needs to be available, strongly regulated and a patient needs to make that decision while of sound mind as well as many other factors that need to be taken into consideration.
Physician assisted suicide offers options in a situation where not many options are available. It can be a great relief to both patients and their families knowing that there can be a relatively peaceful end to a patients constant suffering. It can relive the stress of a patient having to think about doing it themselves or having to ask a friend or family member to assist them in suicide and then face the repercussions after the loved one is gone.
I know that for many people in the world, euthanasia will never be an option and that is fine with me. Just so long as they have the option in the first place.
Monday, June 16, 2014
Sunday, June 8, 2014
Senior moments
When I was in school for my CNA and later my nursing degree, I had the pleasure and
privilege of doing several clinical rotations at local extended care facilities. Each facility is
different and each has a varying degree of success at making their facilities feel light and airy and home like, but the bottom line is, they are depressing. You can offer bowling in the dining room, crafts in the library, field trips to the mall, but the reality is, nursing homes are where we send the elderly of our community ultimately to die. Yes, in some cases, people rehabilitate and are able to return home, but that is the minority and the residents there know it.
For me the hardest part is knowing that so many of the residents still have so much to give and so much knowledge to share but it is almost like they are sent away so their families don't have to deal with them. I know that we live busier and more stressful lives than ever and often the task of caring for an ailing parent is overwhelming, especially when you are stuck in the middle of caring for your own children and then being put in the position of also caring for your parent, but it just seems like the people who raised us and supported us and did so much for us our whole lives deserve a little more than spending their golden years stuck in a nursing home.
One of the problems is, we live in The United States. In this country we notoriously put youth on a pedestal. We put a huge value on a person's youthful attributes including physical appearance, ability to work and be productive, all of which obviously diminish with age. Anthropologist Jared Diamond, who has studied the treatment of the elderly across cultures, has said the geriatric in western countries like the U.K. and U.S. live "lonely lives separated from their children and lifelong friends." As their health deteriorates, the elderly in these cultures often move to retirement communities, assisted living facilities, and nursing homes, while in many other countries around the world, it is the social norm for several generations of one family to live under the same roof. Several countries, including China and France have gone so far to pass "Elderly rights laws" which requires citizens to regularly keep in touch with their geriatric parents or face fines or even jail time!
In Latin and Mediterranean cultures, family is a priority and elders are seen as valuable resources in the family structure. Elders are often in charge of caring for younger members of the family while the parents are at work are stay with their families until the time of their deaths. Growing up, one of my best friends, Carmen, came from a large mexican family. Her house was always full of every age imaginable and her grandparents were always treated as the most respected members of the family. As Carmen and her brothers and sisters grew up, taking care of their parents was always the utmost of importance. They would pool together to make sure their parents had a nice place to live, safe cars to drive, that they were taken care of. And in return, their parents took care of the grandchildren. And they had nine children, so you can image what that was like!
For as long as I can remember my mother has made me promise that I will never put her in a "rest home". And as an only child, that is a burden I will have to deal with. But she is my mom, and I could never, ever repay all the things she has done and still does for me, but by at least honoring that wish, I can try! I don't know what the answer is to this dilemma, but I know there has got to be a better choice than what we are doing. I am sure that is a horrible decision to have to make to decide to put your parent into a facility and in many cases I am sure it is the only option, but we need to start treating the geriatric population as the amazingly wonderful, wise and valuable resource that they are.
privilege of doing several clinical rotations at local extended care facilities. Each facility is
different and each has a varying degree of success at making their facilities feel light and airy and home like, but the bottom line is, they are depressing. You can offer bowling in the dining room, crafts in the library, field trips to the mall, but the reality is, nursing homes are where we send the elderly of our community ultimately to die. Yes, in some cases, people rehabilitate and are able to return home, but that is the minority and the residents there know it.
For me the hardest part is knowing that so many of the residents still have so much to give and so much knowledge to share but it is almost like they are sent away so their families don't have to deal with them. I know that we live busier and more stressful lives than ever and often the task of caring for an ailing parent is overwhelming, especially when you are stuck in the middle of caring for your own children and then being put in the position of also caring for your parent, but it just seems like the people who raised us and supported us and did so much for us our whole lives deserve a little more than spending their golden years stuck in a nursing home.
One of the problems is, we live in The United States. In this country we notoriously put youth on a pedestal. We put a huge value on a person's youthful attributes including physical appearance, ability to work and be productive, all of which obviously diminish with age. Anthropologist Jared Diamond, who has studied the treatment of the elderly across cultures, has said the geriatric in western countries like the U.K. and U.S. live "lonely lives separated from their children and lifelong friends." As their health deteriorates, the elderly in these cultures often move to retirement communities, assisted living facilities, and nursing homes, while in many other countries around the world, it is the social norm for several generations of one family to live under the same roof. Several countries, including China and France have gone so far to pass "Elderly rights laws" which requires citizens to regularly keep in touch with their geriatric parents or face fines or even jail time!
In Latin and Mediterranean cultures, family is a priority and elders are seen as valuable resources in the family structure. Elders are often in charge of caring for younger members of the family while the parents are at work are stay with their families until the time of their deaths. Growing up, one of my best friends, Carmen, came from a large mexican family. Her house was always full of every age imaginable and her grandparents were always treated as the most respected members of the family. As Carmen and her brothers and sisters grew up, taking care of their parents was always the utmost of importance. They would pool together to make sure their parents had a nice place to live, safe cars to drive, that they were taken care of. And in return, their parents took care of the grandchildren. And they had nine children, so you can image what that was like!
For as long as I can remember my mother has made me promise that I will never put her in a "rest home". And as an only child, that is a burden I will have to deal with. But she is my mom, and I could never, ever repay all the things she has done and still does for me, but by at least honoring that wish, I can try! I don't know what the answer is to this dilemma, but I know there has got to be a better choice than what we are doing. I am sure that is a horrible decision to have to make to decide to put your parent into a facility and in many cases I am sure it is the only option, but we need to start treating the geriatric population as the amazingly wonderful, wise and valuable resource that they are.
Sunday, June 1, 2014
My life
Well, this weeks topics are like pulling a page out of my current life story. I am the mother/wife in a dual earning family, I am approaching middle adulthood and dealing my with feelings on that fun idea, I am always juggling the roles between mom, wife, nurse, student and I am suffering from a case of reality shock to boot!
Up until a few months ago, my husband had been a stay at home dad for the last several years. It was great as far as childcare and me not having to worry about our daughter being cared for by a stranger but there was still conflict in the home. While I was employed and usually a student as well, I found myself becoming very resentful towards my husband because A) he got to stay home with our daughter and B) I still was doing the bulk of the housework and family chores. It became a constant source of conflict between us. In his family, his mother had always been a stay at home mom and that is what mom's do, clean the house, take care of the groceries, the pets, etc... So why shouldn't his wife be the same? But he also lives in the era of equal rights for both genders, so of course I should also have to work! I am capable, so why shouldn't I have a job? Back and forth, back and forth. I think it is great that we were able to have one parent stay home with our daughter, we have been very fortunate that we were able to have that arrangement but the resentment of things not being "equal" was getting almost too much for me to bear. It finally came to the point that I had to draw a line in the sand. Either you get a job, we hire someone to help me around the house, or you step up your game at home. You choose or I am going to choose for us.
Well, my husband went back to work. I feel more satisfied as far as shared burdens, I still do the housework but hey, we are moving in the right direction! But now we face the challenges of a dual earning household. Finding child care is harder than you think! I worry about pawning our daughter off, I worry about being stuck late at work and not getting to school on time to pick her up, we now have a whole new set of exciting challenges! I am sure I sound like I am whining but I think basically life is just a big old balancing act. Just do the best you can, there is always going to be stress and challenges and that is just the bottom line. In the end, we have decided to switch roles for awhile and in the next month or so I will be taking some time off of work just to relax and focus on time with our daughter and being a stay at home mom (wish me luck!) I think it is valuable to see how the other half lives and I think this change will benefit us overall. And I will have more time to focus on my up coming mid life crisis, hello botox!
Up until a few months ago, my husband had been a stay at home dad for the last several years. It was great as far as childcare and me not having to worry about our daughter being cared for by a stranger but there was still conflict in the home. While I was employed and usually a student as well, I found myself becoming very resentful towards my husband because A) he got to stay home with our daughter and B) I still was doing the bulk of the housework and family chores. It became a constant source of conflict between us. In his family, his mother had always been a stay at home mom and that is what mom's do, clean the house, take care of the groceries, the pets, etc... So why shouldn't his wife be the same? But he also lives in the era of equal rights for both genders, so of course I should also have to work! I am capable, so why shouldn't I have a job? Back and forth, back and forth. I think it is great that we were able to have one parent stay home with our daughter, we have been very fortunate that we were able to have that arrangement but the resentment of things not being "equal" was getting almost too much for me to bear. It finally came to the point that I had to draw a line in the sand. Either you get a job, we hire someone to help me around the house, or you step up your game at home. You choose or I am going to choose for us.
Well, my husband went back to work. I feel more satisfied as far as shared burdens, I still do the housework but hey, we are moving in the right direction! But now we face the challenges of a dual earning household. Finding child care is harder than you think! I worry about pawning our daughter off, I worry about being stuck late at work and not getting to school on time to pick her up, we now have a whole new set of exciting challenges! I am sure I sound like I am whining but I think basically life is just a big old balancing act. Just do the best you can, there is always going to be stress and challenges and that is just the bottom line. In the end, we have decided to switch roles for awhile and in the next month or so I will be taking some time off of work just to relax and focus on time with our daughter and being a stay at home mom (wish me luck!) I think it is valuable to see how the other half lives and I think this change will benefit us overall. And I will have more time to focus on my up coming mid life crisis, hello botox!
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