Wow! Here it is Saturday morning at at 7:45 am and already my mind is working overtime. No, I haven't had too much coffee, I am thinking about boys! And men! Tough guise! While I thoroughly enjoyed this weeks reading, the video "Tough Guise" really got me thinking. There is so much in the news about women being objectified by the media and the media's tendencies to feature women with unattainable body types and women being hypersexualized and taught to value looks and sexuality above all else that I have almost never given any real thought to what's going on with our male counterparts. Watching the video this morning, it was really almost like a light going on in my head. Of course I am trained to feel bad about myself when I see a celebrity who has just given birth three weeks ago frolicking in a bikini, why wouldn't a man feel the same way? Or at least similarly?
After watching the video, I started thinking about tv, movies, magazines and how they perceive and show men. It is very rare in film and tv that the sensitive man is the hero of a story, the one who gets the girl. And in the rare cases he does become the victor, it is usually following some life changing act of manliness. In Back to the Future, George McFly gets the girl, but only after he fights and defeats the antagonist of the story. And to top it off, this act of manliness, changes his entire life! He gets the girl, becomes a famous novelist, has a great career, all his kids are successful... All because he knocked out Biff! What is this telling us? A man that can protect his woman and show physical prowess is going to have a great life! He will be successful, people will respect him, everything will be moonlight and roses.
The media has a shocking amount of control over the way we think and perceive others, I hate to say it. I would like to think of myself as above that way of thinking, but I am not. When I think of men I find physically attractive or appealing, I do not think of a sensitive ponytail man. For whatever reason, I just don't. Part of it is probably that I am tall and athletic and appreciate someone with similar physical and athletic abilities, I also assume some of it has to do with survival of the fittest and we tend to try to choose mates that would ensure the best genetic outcome for our children, but I am sure a huge part of it is that we are taught to value masculinity and a mans prowess and view those as favorable traits in a mate.
As a women, I think it is very important for us to help change things by changing the way we think and interact with men. Women have a huge influence over their sons and in many cases men in general and by changing what we value, we can help men change what they value in themselves. There is a huge difference between being strong and capable and being aggressive and antagonistic. Yes, my husband is tall and athletic but that's not what makes him manly. What makes him manly is that he is a stand up guy. He is not afraid to be a stay at home dad. He supports his wife in her pursuits. He values his daughter's thoughts and opinions and works hard to ensure she is a strong and independent girl. He provides for his family. He doesn't allow himself to be hen pecked in a house full of girls... Now that's manly!
No comments:
Post a Comment