Well, week two is off and running! I found this weeks reading very interesting but one concept that really stood out to me was the relationship and dynamic between heredity and environment, which is basically the idea that even though we may be born with a predetermined set of genes, the environment we grow up in has a powerful influence on who we become and how others view us. The text book describes it as "Heredity provides the clay of life and experience does the sculpting" which I thought was a great analogy. One concept that was particularly thought provoking was the idea that genes can affect the type of nurturing we receive. The book gave the example of a bright out-going child receiving more attention from teachers and peers while a more withdrawn and not quite as bright child, who could benefit from extra nurturing, may have a tendency to be overlooked. "A squeaky wheel gets the grease" scenario, if you will.
The assigned article also brought up some interesting issues. One study sought to show that genetic traits influence how a parent reacts to their child. Ie, an angry, anti social child will make the parents anxious and frustrated and this will reinforce the child's behaviors as the parent and child are mirroring each others behavioral styles. This made me think about a neighbor of mine. Jack (not his real name) is a 5 years old boy with a myriad of behavioral issues. He is extremely aggressive both physically and verbally to those around him and has been this way as long as I have known him, which was beginning at the age of two. This weeks reading really made me think about and question his situation. When he acts out, his mother usually seems to tailor her reaction to his behavior. She either totally ignores the inappropriate behavior or mirrors it. When he is screaming, she screams louder. Instead of explaining to him why what he is doing is not okay or inappropriate for the situation, her first reaction is to get angry and frustrated. So that got me thinking... Why? Is Jack this way because A) he is genetically predisposed to this aggressive personality and behavioral style because he inherited his mothers genes? Or B) has his personality been influenced by his mothers parenting style? And is her parenting style a result of heredity or in response to his behavior?
Everyones child at one point or another has thrown a tantrum (my daughter included) but instead of allowing ourselves to get angry or frustrated, my husband and I just did our best to stay calm and just talk it out with her. By showing our daughter respect and by showing her with out actions that we cared about her wants and needs, we were able to set the groundwork for good communication. And by sticking to what we say, she quickly learned that tantrums and whining will never, ever, even once get her the things she wants, but asking nicely and calmly discussing it might, which is helping our daughter develop a caring and respectful personality.
If I were not a working nurse and mother and could spend countless hours reading on the beach, this is an area I would love to delve more deeply into. Not only because I find the subject matter very interesting, but it really got me thinking about myself as a mother and I am always looking for more insight and information that will help me grow as a parent.
I love the quote that you added from the text! "Heredity provides the clay of life and experience does the sculpting" So true! Ive definitely been able to see that within my own life and i like that you touched on the fact that our genes play a role in the way we receive nurturing. I was such a shy child that i never wanted to speak up or ask for help and was often overlooked just as you said.
ReplyDeleteEveryone always has a different way of coping with different emotions and situations. I know the way I tend to deal with negative emotions is to isolate myself and do something to take my mind off the situation that caused me to have negative feelings. This really helps me to relax. It is very interesting to think about. I think its good that you are constantly trying to better yourself at parenting it is a learning process. Like in anything in life you will get better everyday as long as you work hard and set your mind to it. Parents who are actively engaged often produce successful offspring.
ReplyDeleteEveryone always says be positive and surround yourself with positive people. i suppose the reason why they say it because we ought to mirror other peoples behavior just as a child would. It is very easy to become negative if we have people bringing us down and causing stress. I have always found parenting a very hard thing to do. There is no right or wrong way of parenting as it can depends on parents and child's personality, their culture and environment. Kids copy and try to do what they see their parents and family members do. Example you gave with your daughter shows how learn and copy things from their parents.
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